Personal Development

Most of us work long hours in our jobs and are tired at the end of the day and are somewhat protective of our free time so why should we give up our time to do things as a volunteer? There are actually many reasons ranging from practical advantages to more psychologically-based explanations. Volunteering in areas where we have training provides us with a unique, non-routine way to apply our skills for the benefit of others or society at large. This is seen to be both a way to “give back” to society for the privileges we have received through education or training (you don’t think your tuition really pays for your whole education do you?) and it allows us to experience applying our skills in unique and novel settings. In return volunteering can give us greater appreciation of our regular jobs and serve to reinforce the importance of our…

Making a resolution is an excellent way to initiate a change in your behaviour and to successfully achieve your goals. When you make a resolution, you are envisioning a new reality. You are stating that you want something to be different in your life. But just saying it doesn’t make it so. If you truly want to make a change in your life, you must do more than declare your intent. You must put your will, your effort, and your behaviour behind this declaration. This means you have to think differently and behave differently every day if you want to successfully reach your goals. Here is how you can infuse your weakening resolutions with power to make sure that you get what you want. A resolution is a statement of a goal. Goals that are too big rarely work. If your goal is too big or too complicated, you will…

The human mind strives for meaning. It is well recognized that people create meaning in their lives by how they interpret life’s events. Suppose your vision of the holiday season is lots of entertaining, shopping and family get-togethers as well as maintaining the spirit of the season. This image would necessarily involve money, effort and time to make this happen. Suppose you inject the image with an overlay of happiness with no delays or upsets. Add to that picture the element of “perfect” moments. What would be anticipated with joy and eagerness could easily leave you feeling empty, tired and disillusioned. This scenario implies that even the best of intentions may not produce the result you desire. Make sure that the people in your family agree about what makes a satisfying holiday season. Spending time, working hard and interacting with others, even those we love and cherish, will fall short…

Perhaps no issue is more complex than that of dealing with a loss. The death of a loved one can take years to work through. Other losses such as divorce can be equally difficult. The additional problem with a divorce is that a person is often unsure when the loss really begins. Is it when the break-up first happens? When the divorce becomes official? When can the split become final if children are involved? Once, in speaking to a group in Edmonton I asked the audience how long they thought it took to get over a loss. I will always remember the timid, yet honest, response made by a person from the back of the room, “Well, it has been about five years and I think I am half way through it”. I hope for those of you who have faced losses, your progress is somewhat faster than the person…

Let’s start with what does not lead to happiness: complaints, possessions and wanting to get more possessions. Complaining is kind of like going out, starting a car, letting it run for an hour, then turning it off. It doesn’t really get you anywhere.  Now if that same one hour of a car’s motor running was put into some form of positive action, you could actually get somewhere and accomplish something.  While awareness of our feelings is important, dwelling on them is often not helpful unless it leads to a plan of action.  Similarly, gaining possessions or wanting to gain possessions does not produce long lasting results.  Those who measure happiness with possessions find that it becomes an addiction and the happiness becomes shorter with each new acquisition.  A refreshing attitude was seen on a bumper sticker on a well worn car that stated “whoever dies with the most toys ……

Baldness And Other Developmentally Normal, but Difficult, Issues Emotional and physical development does not stop with becoming an adult. Individual growth is a life-long process that presents numerous challenges and demands ongoing change. Many developmental theorists refer to times of change as developmental crises. The word crisis implies that we often experience difficulty as we move from one emotional or physical stage of our life to another. For example a key psychological and spiritual task for adolescents is to become more independent. In middle age, one of the important developmental tasks is learning how to live creatively, i.e. to love well, live well and play well. Also, in midlife, many physical signs of getting older (including losing one’s hair) are seen as threats and as diminishing our stature or power in society. A significant issue in facing hair loss, or any of the normal life changes, is your view of…